Vanessa Finds Another Way to Feel Better

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But then she remembers Mariah’s comment about “finding a better way.” Mariah always finds a better way, Vanessa thinks, because Mariah is pretty and smart. 

Vanessa knows that getting drunk is stupid. How is that going to fix anything? It’s never helped her dad any. She remembers what Mrs. Delgado said about the effects of alcohol on brain development, how it can mess you up permanently. That’s all she needs—to end up like her mom, flunked out and pregnant, living three streets from where she grew up.

No, Vanessa has very big plans for her life. She intends to get out of this place and be somebody—like Ashley Baca’s sister, who’s making movies in L.A. She knows this probably means doing what Mrs. Delgado says, finding “more constructive ways” to face your problems rather than take the easy way out. 

“Constructive like what?” she thinks. 

“Like get into nature,” she remembers people calling out in class. “Like make art or call a friend.”

But it feels like she has a shoulder devil, too, because there’s a voice in her head still singing, “Wanna get juiced boots…!” And this sounds way more live.

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